I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
