apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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