So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
