I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
