Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
