Farmville is her only friend.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
