yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
