belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize