Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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