my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
