I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think a kid would responsible me up
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
