Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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