you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
