Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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