Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
