Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
