we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
