Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
