He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
