cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize