Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
