It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
