I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
