the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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