3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
