Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
