Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
