Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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