I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
