I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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