do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
