so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
