so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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