I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
