Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
