I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
