Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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