Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
