just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
