Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
