i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
