well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize