we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize