we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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