Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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