Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
