just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
