I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
