My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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