Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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