I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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