I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
