If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
