100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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