apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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