We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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