And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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