remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize