What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
