i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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