A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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